Mo'kay.

Guy: Yeah, man... mo' pockets, mo' problems!

- In front of Koerner, overheard by Maggie.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Girl: Bisexuality is the greatest gift you can give yourself!

- CSIS 450, overheard by Heather.

Only if you want a second date.

Girl: Well, it's not like you have to swallow or anything.

- Elevator, overheard by Simon.

What did he think when he donated money to the SPCA?

Girl: UBC Performing Arts put on a show. All the proceeds were by donation... it'll go to SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Guy: I guess that money won't be much use to the babies, huh?
Girl: ...it's for resesarch. And for families affected by SIDS.
Guy: Oh.

- Overheard by C.

And the least fun.

Prof: Imaginary threesomes are the least humiliating.

- CRWR, overheard by Emily.

Or the resulting lawsuit from an unwary Santa.

Girl: Nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like no roof!

- Biology building, overheard by Sarah